Confrontation & Dialogue

Today I had to have a serious talk with my boss about respecting my obligations outside of work and how he should let work wait until the last minute so that I end up having to work over-time to complete it. I think he kind of got the message…

Here’s my problem with confrontation: I really value calm, reasonable dialogue so I try as hard as I can to be respectful, try and see the other person’s side and to not let my emotions overwhelm my objectivity and concern for the other person. One result of this is that, even though I voice my concerns & propose solutions, I don’t also to express how upset I am, how much my feelings were hurt or make it clear that I want the person to understand the wrongness of their actions. I walk away still feeling upset and not-understood even though the conflict has been resolved. I don’t know what, if anything, to do about that.

In related but different news, tonight is the first meeting of  the New Wine/ Dharma Rain Zen Center Dialogue Project. Multnomah U students and staff are potlucking and talking with members tonight and once a month for the rest of the school year. I have no idea what to expect, really, but I’m excited to meet the Dharma Rain members and make some connections between MU and the greater Portland community.

In related but also different news, I just started reading Acid Christ: Ken Kesey, LSD and the Politics of Ecstasy  by Mark Christensen. One of the members of Ken Kesey’s band of “Merry Pranksters” was Gary Snyder, the  model for Dean Moriarty, the main character of The Dharma Bums . Ken Kesey is a U of O grad and long-time Oregon resident up until his death in 2003. I highly recommend Dharma Bums – a great beat book.

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